It’s your dad here. I’ll try not to be too embarrassing, but there’s the impossible conclusion that I always will be. It’s a position you may find yourself in, unless you’re a mother, in the future. I don’t even know if there should be a comma in that last sentence, but don’t hold your ol’ man to ransom for that.
I’m 36 years old and whoever you are, I’ve always felt and known I’ll love you no matter what you do, no matter who you are…unless you turn out to be a mass murderer or other evil bastard. That’ll make this sound even more pathetic. I doubt you’ll intend to do something stupid. Not many people intend to do stupid things, but sometimes people do. That’s alright.
I’ve no idea what sort of world you’re going to grow up in just as my parents had no idea what sort of world they would be raising a child in. It’s bloody tough. It’s bloody tough because you’ll be expected to do this and to do that. You’ll be expected to earn a decent living. Pay your way. Earn respect. You’ll be expected to do things you don’t want to do. You’ll be considered a failure if you don’t earn enough to have the latest car, phone, computer, Google Glasses, clothes, music format playback system…blah fucking blah.
None of that shit matters. Here is what matters:
You are fucking awesome. You will always be awesome. You will become more awesome by asking questions, being difficult and not accepting the first thing that is expected of you. You can always do more. You will always be capable. You will piss off a lot of folks. You will be difficult, arrogant, selfish, a time-waster, a twat, belligerent, etc.
You will annoy the shit out of me and your mother, but that’s alright. Your mother will deal with the really difficult times….I’m not stupid….hahaha…I’m joking of course. Fuck you.
Fuck your attitude and laziness. Fuck your irresponsibility and arrogance. Bloody kids!
Of course, I expect nothing. I couldn’t care less what you do or who you are.
I do care. I care a whole bloody lot. I care if you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual, a transvestite but only because the world is full of fucking idiots who still can’t understand these things don’t actually matter at all. I couldn’t give a flying fuck if you wanted to walk around wearing nothing but a box of eggs as a hat. I don’t care.
What I do care about is you doing what you want to do; your dreams, hopes, ambitions.
You must strive for them. They’re gonna be horribly hard to achieve and you may never achieve them, but that does not mean you shouldn’t try. You have to try and keep trying.
Don’t worry. We’ll help you as much as we can financially and, more importantly, emotionally. It can be bullshit out there my beautiful child, but it’s less bullshit and really quite cool with someone holding your hand, which is why me and your mother got married. We both know what’s important and it isn’t the size of a house or a paycheque. (In the future we, hopefully, still write cheque…fucking American English my arse.)
If you want to do something, do it. I don’t care what it is as long as you’re happy doing it. If you decide you’re not happy doing whatever, no worries, do something else.
You’re not alive to earn someone else a fucking load of money from your hard work.
You’re here to enjoy your life.
You may inspire other people to do the same.
You may earn a few quid doing so.
You may decide your old man is a hippy twat and you’re bloody thankful to work in an office earning loads of cash.
I don’t care what you do.
If you’re happy, me and you’re mother are really bloody happy.
If you’re unhappy, we’ll try our best to help you get happier.
One thing that will never change is our love for you.
Take care you ruddy bugger.
Your ol’ man and Emma (she wrote bugger all….but you know for a fact she agrees. She’s a bloody ripper. I’ve no idea why I’ve gone Australian…)
Lots of love, and no, I can’t lend you £30 for sweets, what the cock?!